careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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