I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
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