Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
