Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
