My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
