On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
