in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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