i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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