Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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