The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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