I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
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