thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
