i jhust puked up my retainher.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize