enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
