Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
