ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
