It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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