am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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