I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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