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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
