i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
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