My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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