Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
