why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
