so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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