Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
