True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize