Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Randomize
