Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
