Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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