I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
