but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Randomize
