Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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