You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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