**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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