so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
