I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Someone came in the potted fern
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
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