Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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