People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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