I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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