I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
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my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
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