I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
