When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
