you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
