I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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