oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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