we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
