I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Well I just put wine in my tea
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
