Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
