I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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