I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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