have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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