I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
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Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
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Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
So much Jack, so little girl.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize