Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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