I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
