Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
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