i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
